I see here that I haven't posted a blog in a few days. What backstabbing, image destroying lies have you heard about me to explain my absence so far? Was I in jail, getting beat up, again? Did I get evicted from my home and have to move to a shelter again? How many times have you heard such things about me in the last seven years of my living at the same address with no criminal record and no change in my living conditions? Ten? Twenty? Fifty? And how many nice things have you heard about me to make up for it in all that time? Right.
If you need me to explain how I've been spending my time these last few days, the best way would be for me to share my new musical recording, whose multiple tracks have demanded around twenty hours of my full attention so far. I'm pleased with my results up to now, having created an almost underwater atmosphere with electronic delay. The orcas would love this tune. (It's only in 4/4 time, but they'd just convert that to 16/4 to make it more listenable.) I'm hopeful that it will stay new sounding after I put the words in; that is, that I'm not now inadvertently rewriting another hit that was stolen in 2007 by Blue Rodeo, Coldplay, Nickelback, AC/DC, the Crystalids, the Shards, Oasis, the Rolling Stones, Seal, Beyonce, J. Bieber, T. Swift, various 'indy' rock stars, D. Yoakum, and/or anyone else I'm leaving out. I have no way of knowing until the words are in this recording.
Back in the old days, I would have simply posted my partially finished recording to show you my life of the last few days. If you write music, your music is your life, and when I share my music, I'm sharing my life. I'm using my music strictly for communication under these circumstances, but the business couldn't listen to my life without hearing the sound of cash registers clanking out sale after sale of money going into its pockets. If I could share my new music exclusively with my music fans, there would be no risk of losing it to fraud, but, according to the preceding paragraph, I receive far too many malicious visitors on the internet.
And when I find out that I need to go on a vegetarian diet, that's my life; when I read a book, that's my life; when I go to a store and buy an item, that's my life; when I take out a DVD from the library - even one I already parodied and later forgot - that's my life. This Blogger account is essentially a record of my ordinary life experiences of the last ten years. What made them interesting enough to use on TV was how I presented them with my original opinions, attitudes, and humour: that which we are so discouraged from developing in our empty 'everyone-think-the-same-thing-at-the-same-time' consumer culture. I can think of no greater such discouragement than the way show business people dismiss the phenomenal popularity of my talent after they walked away with millions of dollars in profits from it. Can we go back in time and see how well they would have done with someone else producing their hit songs and blogs for them? Otherwise, it's far too late to say that the quality of the material they stole from me made no difference in their sales of the last ten years.
And recording is easy when the music is already written. Recording the bass is easy when the bass line is already written. Recording the guitar is easy when the guitar part is already written. And singing the words is easy if someone has already written them for you. As for the sound of the vocal, that can be improved with expensive recording gear if it is necessary, though I'm sure it's a lot more necessary for those bullshit bands than it ever was for me. Yes, and telling a funny joke is a hell of a lot easier than writing one. But they're still more impressed with their frauds than they are with me in the entertainment business, and if you submit to their mind altering broadcast signals, maybe you share their folly.
Oh yeah, the new song... I guess I'll wait to post it after I get it regeistered with S.A.C. Have a look below to see what happens when I share it here first.
Star Copyright Offenders
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Transgressor
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Works Violated
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Area
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Period
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AC/DC
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Easy
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music
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2007
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Bieber, Justin
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Hit song about 'being a man' (my original recording lost)
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music
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2007
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Blue Rodeo
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It Makes Me Wonder, Small Miracles (my original recording lost), Mischief, Redemption, Slings and Arrows, Close Rendezvous, 'The Creed' and other poems.
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music, poetry
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2007
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Bush, George W.
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Essay on U.S. Cultural Influence, other mini-essays from March-April 2004
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opinion
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2004
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Beyonce
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Under My Umbrella
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music
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2008-14
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CNN program
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Privileged Information (The Green Bay Hacker)
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humor
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2007
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Carlin, George
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See George Carlin's Plagiarism
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personal prose
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2006-08
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Cohen, Leonard
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Buck Henry
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poetry
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2007-14
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Colbert Report, the
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Clash of the Puritans, War in the Antarctic, other works
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humor
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2007-11
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Coldplay
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Fool, Canopy, Slings and Arrows
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music
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2007-10
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Comedy Central Talk Shows
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Disembodied cartoon frames and talk show segments, other works
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humor
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2007
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Crystalids, the
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All My Money,
Arise,
Assault,
Bonkers,
Busybody,
Careful,
Chair,
Cheer?,
Comfort?,
Control?,
Crybaby,
Doors of Love,
Easy,
Ectomorph,
Fantasies,
Foothead?,
Forgiveness,
Free,
Frenetic,
Godspeed,
Harmony,
Ho Ho and Ho,
Loose?,
Lucky Lech?,
Mambo Fever,
Mistaken?,
More Sold Out,
Morning Shorelines,
Natural,
Nonplussed?,
Outside,
Prone,
Rusty,
Satellite Sam,
Sense,
Selfish,
Size,
Smile,
Soliloquay,
Spoils,
Telepathy,
Therapy,
Thrown Stones,
Tunnel Vision,
Ugly,
Uneven,
Untoward,
Widen?,
other works
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music
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2007-10
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Daily Show, the
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Johnny Levelhead, the Lunar Dimension, FOX News Hates (videos stolen), Straight from the Belt, Ancient American History, Aunt Sally Doesn't Want You, Rules for Snuggling, other works
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humor
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2007-11
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Dateline NBC
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Accidentaly Blown, the Porcupine Girls, other works
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humor, poetry, music
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2007-13
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Degeneres, Ellen
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See Ellen
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humor, poetry
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2007-14
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Eastwood, Clint
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Killer Ending
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humor
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2007
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Ellen
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Sappho Asparagus, The Widower, the Holy Roller, Mid-Life Crisis (from 2007's hospital visit), Talking Nonchalant (2007's YouTube video), The Civil States?, The Bahn to Buchenwald, Fitness Craze, Girl Logic?, other works
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humor, poetry
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2007-14
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'Eye Guy', the (and brother?)
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Don't know their worthless names: see Saturday Night Live
|
humor, poetry
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2007-18
|
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Family Guy
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War Story: Robot Robot Monster, War Story: Holy War, Insufferable Confession, Michaelangelo's Slip (currently offline), other works
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humor
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2007-13
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Fey, Tina
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See Saturday Night Live
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humor, poetry
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2004-13
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Frum, David
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Republican speeches made from my words
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opinion
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2004
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Georgia Straight, the
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Who Ripped Me Off, Quiz Time, other works
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humor
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1996
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Groening, Matt
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See the Simpsons
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humor
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2007-13
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Hanks Tom
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The Veteran
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poetry
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2007-13
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Kimmel, Jimmy
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Fred's Friendly Frauleins, the X-Ray Player, Get the Waistcoat, Mother Mayhem (video), other works
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humor
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2007-13
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Late Night with Conan O'Brien
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Portions of the Don't Steal Show, JFK conspiracy sketch, other works
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humor
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2007-13
|
|
Leno, Jay
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See the Tonight Show
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humor, poetry, music
|
2007-13
|
|
MacDonnel-Douglas
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Bird of Prey
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music
|
2007-2010
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|
MacFarlane, Seth
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See Family Guy
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
MAD Magazine
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Austin Powers I.M.M., other cartoons in apparent support of Mike Myers Austin Powers fraud
|
humor
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2007-16
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MAD TV
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Hip Moves, School of Deforming Arts, Tuesday Night Long, the Job, other works perhaps confused by me as SNL crimes, still other works
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humor
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2007-13
|
|
Madonna
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Complicit with bad stars during 2008 Vancouver visit
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music
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2008
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|
Maher, Bill
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See Real Time
|
humor
|
2007-15
|
|
Miller, Dennis
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Epilogue: Sneak Peek at My Unpublished Book
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original theory
|
2007
|
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Myers, Mike
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Redemption (music), Orcastra (music), Seal of Doom, Austin Powers, see Saturday Night Live for others
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2004-13
|
|
Nickleback
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Fool's Paradise, Just Like You (My reject), Nonchalant?
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music
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2007-14
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Oasis
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Fortune
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music
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2001-10
|
|
O'Donnell, Rosie
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Narrative portions of war documentary, 'Shock and Awe'
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intellectual property
|
2007-2018
|
|
O'Brien, Conan
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See Late Night with
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humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Pohler, Amy
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See Saturday Night Live
|
humor, poetry
|
2007-13
|
|
Real Time
|
'sometimes wearing khaki', political and religious statements
|
personal prose
|
2007-15
|
|
Rolling Stones, the
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Nothing but Ashes
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music
|
2007-13
|
|
Saturday Night Live
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(Sketches:)
Bait Bikes,
Bronson Harley: Portrait of a Badass,
Cosmic Christ, the,
Don't Destroy the Kitchen,
Idiot Stu-dent, the,
One Thin Grocer,
Shorn Testimony,
Thelma Addison's Confusion,
The Masked Coward,
Tyranny,
The Hennessy,
The Planet of the Grapes,
The Whoopin of Chet Turtleback,
The Racoon,
The Burning Sun,
Silent Night on the Western Front,
Patterns of Behaviour (Jane Know-it-all),
Chester Windmill Presents,
Economics Made Simple,
The Search for Blue November,
Ears Wide Open,
Bullscent Artificial Air Freshener,
Minstrel At Arms,
Blindsighted Justice,
The Flying Peacocks,
'The Rake' Oral Apparatus,
Orangatang Flavour Crystals,
The Girls of Nightcast,
Nightcast: September 22, 2012,
Pussy Willow,
Nightcast: September 15, 2012,
War Story: All's Fair in Love and War,
Nightcast: September 8, 2012,
It's Unibrow!,
It's Unibrow! (Episode Four: Blast in Space),
It's Unibrow! (Again),
Match Against Machine,
The Lost Fight,
Ahead of Their Time: Louis Bombardier,
Classic Flicks: Portrait of the Scientist...,
History's Mysteries: Nadia Stalin,
Meddlin' Mom,
Nurse Sheridan,
Classic Flicks: My Fair Hillbilly,
Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee,
Mystery Movie: Turtleneck: The Vanishing Casino,
Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer,
'The Fishbowl' Smoker's Helmet,
'Whiff' Insect Repellant for Men,
The Lazar Razor,
'The Shot' Wall Syringe,
Metaphysical Fitness,
Vote for Willie,
'Void' Depressurizing Gum[?],
Bigger than the Host,
Jesus of Vancouver/Canadian Film Festival,
Professional Wisecracker,
Stark Raving Mad TV,
Running on Air,
Not Without My Money,
The Dealer (The Collector),
Man of His Dreams,
The Sling,
End Quote,
Episode 1/D.S. Show Pilot Sketch - Windox,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 1 - Securiguard Home Security,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 1 - Dynamo 5000 Air Gun,
Episode 5/D.S. Show 1 - Pottypants,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 1 - Soundproof Suicide Prevention,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 1 - Max-Mix Protein Powder,
Episode 8/D.S. Show 1 - Spellbound Spell Checker,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 1 - Gas-in-a-Stick Man Repellant,
Episode 10/D.S. Show 1 - Immobiline Paralyzing Cream,
Episode 11/D.S. Show 1 - Pro-Rate Reputation Salvation,
Episode 12/D.S. Show 1 - Angel of Stealth Kite,
Episode 13/D.S. Show 1 - Zit Zapper,
Episode 14/D.S. Show 1 - Equine Velvet Aftershave,
Episode 15/D.S. Show 1 - Work-Mate Brand Replicants,
Episode 16/D.S. Show 1 - Jizz Jar,
Episode 17/D.S. Show 1 - Breathe Easy,
Episode 18/D.S. Show 1 - Cart-in-a-Car,
Episode 19/D.S. Show 1 - The Rocket Self-Playing Guitar,
Episode 20/D.S. Show 1 - A-WEL Artists Weight Loss Plan[?],
Episode 21/D.S. Show 1 - Slobber Guard,
Siren Siren,
Atomic Self-Heating Soup,
Episode 22/D.S. Show 1 - Econoflush Food Recycler,
Episode 23/D.S. Show 1 - Vengisil Irritating Powder,
Episode 24/D.S. Show 1 - Primetime Polly,
Episode 25/D.S. Show 1 - The Mask,
Episode 26/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave - Suicide,
Episode 27/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 2 - Protest,
Episode 28/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 3 - Bad Venues,
Episode 29/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 4 - Divine Punishment,
Episode 30/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 5 - Pizza,
Episode 2/D.S. Show 2 - Bloodfist Interactive Video Game,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 2 - The Church of the Branch Sectarians,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 2 - Do-It-Yourself Lawyer[?],
Episode 5/D.S. Show 2 - The Hot Seat,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 2 - Yum Yum Sugar Sauce,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 2 - Tasty Pastry,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 2 - Shortcut Guide to Success,
Love or Money,
Top Stories 1,
Campfire Rock,
The Straight-Blanket,
Top Stories 2,
The Insomniac,
Gold Rush 2013,
Top Story,
The Driver,
The Dating Game,
The Greed Game,
Top Stories 4,
The Blame Game,
Update: War in the Bermuda Triangle,
Top Stories 5,
The Bermuda Triangle War,
Treachery!,
Concentration 'X',
Nightcast: March 18, 2013,
North American Rebel: Behind the Scenes,
The Assistant,
Nightcast: Top Stories (09-03-13),
The Job Lovers Club,
The Cutting Room,
Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets,
The Vanity Mirrors,
Dead Reckoning,
Enemy Agent,
Celebrity Roundup,
Top Stories 6,
Top Stories 7,
The Red Menace,
The Monarch,
Flames of Compassion,
The Space Suit,
Life Shavers,
Around the Corner (Public Service Ad),
Don't Break the Kitchen,
The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution,
The Multi-Gadge,
Family Feudalism,
Henderson Mayfield: Hoot Snatcher,
Film School Preppie,
The Local Banter,
The Police Police,
Gentrification,
A Day in the Afterlife,
Jamie Jong: Outlaw Landlord,
Movie of the Week: Clarra Claptrap,
The Life of Martin, Word Inventor,
Loving Blindness,
Extreme Irony,
The Defector,
Safer Sex with Polly Foolscap,
Head Case Files/Jerome Adirondack,
Head Case Files/Little Brenda,
Head Case Files/Stephen's Snow, Stupid Snow,
Palumbo[?],
Thelma Addison's Confusion/More Stoned,
Balogne Bulletin/Aug 2,
Schoolyard Scope[?],
Slowpoke,
The Thousand Dollar Man,
Le Miscreant,
The Downsizer,
Balogne Bulletin/Sep 30,
High School Sacramental,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 14,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 21,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 25,
Smile-Rite Face Mold,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 28,
Wilde on Absinthe,
Bum Steer[?],
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 5,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 12,
The Poisoning of Sir Guy Lombardy,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 19,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 30,
Balogne Bulletin/Jan 09/16,
Lord of the Fruit Flies,
Pretty Boy,
the Code Breakers of Stanley Park,
Slander!,
the Pathogena Hair Defense System,
Camp Jesus,
Madame Pompadu,
other works
(Poems:)
Charlotte Harlequin,
Entropy's Date,
False Prophet, the,
First Unholy Roman Emperor, the,
Iniquia,
Marnie Blarneystone,
Mistress Nemesis,
Puritan, the,
Queen Frig,
Redeemer, the,
Restless One, the,
Rosemary Jones,
The Vindictive,
The Octiverse,
other works
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2004-13
|
|
Seal
|
Bad News, Beguiled
|
music
|
2007-15
|
|
Shards, the
|
Virtue, Lifeless
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Simpsons, the
|
Its the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse,
Cold Blooded Marriage, Lady in Waiting, The Herald (Part V - the Abbey), the Pay Toilet, Ghost in Space? - or was that Family Guy's theft?, Superficialman, plus offline works: 'Alaska Nebraska', and other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Stewart, Jon
|
See the Daily Show
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Swift, Taylor
|
Spellbound, Careful, Respect, Dignity
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Telus Corporation
|
Friend in Need
|
music
|
2008-2010
|
|
Tonight Show, the
|
(Statements and Sketches:)
The Roachademy, the D.S. Show theme song, Sketched in Stone, Hazbrollah Is Love, Flying Legends, Dear Harry, Freaky Possibilities, Virtue (Shards fraudcast of my song), Groundbreakers of Aviation, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 8, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 15, D.S. Show 2: Ep. 3, Cave Art Epilogue, Tyke Force, Ancient Wisdom: Technology, All the Best Drivers, Domestic Life (currently offline), Lost Opportunity, Flimsy Barriers, Test of Patients, Money Talks, many other works
(Poems:)
Jackie the Pro, the Trail Blazer
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2007-2013
|
|
Vancouver Sun, the
|
Front page 'Sunshine Corner'
|
personal prose
|
2007
|
|
Yoakum, Dwight
|
Together Again
|
music
|
2007
|
|
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