If you like my writing, please help me defend it from wicked frauds: boycott bad stars and bad broadcasters.
I found that question I got wrong when I applied for my disability tax credit as I was going through some old documents in my drawer: Is the restriction in performing complex tasks necessary for everyday life present when performing complex tasks or only during flare-ups or in stressful situations? Is it just me or is the wording of this question a little confusing? Besides being rather verbose, it implies that a 'restriction in performing complex tasks necessary for everyday life' is required to qualify for the credit, and then lists two somewhat differing conditions for it as though they were similar. And see how it slips in the key word 'only' where it can easily be overlooked by the reader? That's what fooled my physician. This question appears to be worded in a form to which both 'yes' and 'no' are the wrong answers. Why didn't they just tell me 'no' outright and save me the trouble of answering it?
Such experiences are best used in the creation of good comedy sketches. This one sparked an idea for a sketch called Fencing with Bureaucrats. Because bureaucrats take a more refined approach to their brutality, I thought it would be funny to address them with a costumed fencer. The fencer could recount his ridiculous struggles with bureaucracy and punctuate his advances with fencing moves (Guard! Ho! Parry! Thrust!), whipping his rapier through the air, as though he were literally slicing through red tape. Oh, did I already share something like that in 2007? Yes, of course, I remember now, that's when I was struggling with the bureaucrats of Canada's employment insurance department. Well, so much for that original idea. As if the bureaucrats didn't know about it here. At least one of them knew me personally when she sent me to that training program where I learned JavaScript in 2000. She knew I had talent from my portfolio, and probably from my scholastic records.
I don't need to write my sketches a second time if I already recall sharing them in the past. After all, I'm a musician, or perhaps a poet, first, but I also don't need some jerk of a comedian using it to drum up a hate crowd from the TV with my own wit. How much of this is still going on; beautiful sketches whose only application in twelve years has been as ugly fraud? What a waste. I produced and shared so much work, and they wasted every last bit of it on crime. They don't think it's a waste to commit comedy fraud or music fraud if it 'makes money' when it cripples the author in the process. Then I eventually rewrite it and they have to stop using it, cutting off any more profits for them or me. What is the source of this insane contempt they seem to have for truth and the future?
Yes, I bought four new pieces of furniture from the thrift store last week, a new and better table, a nice big cushy chair, and two new nightstands. I carried them each home, the distance of two blocks. I spray painted my other two pieces walnut, and it looks like a pretty decent room here now. So could someone break the jaw of whoever's been lying about my real life behind my back on this? Try to snap it in a way that it doesn't heal right. It might also be a good precaution to take hammer to his fingers, one at a time, to keep him and his filth off the internet.
Another word about talent: I've suffered all these nasty lies about how I trace my drawings, but no one ever wants to let me prove my talent. When my old artist friend, Vlad, saw one of my drawings, he thought I might have traced it, too. He didn't think such perfect line was possible freehand. But he didn't go on the internet and tell everyone I trace my drawings like the workers of Nasco did for those fraud bands and fraud comedians, he gave me a chance to prove my talent by asking me to draw him. He was fair with me, maybe because he was an artist. Unlike show business people, artists don't want to hurt other artists. So I happily answered his request at that moment. My drawing convinced him that I didn't trace my drawings, and I'd happily do the same for you, but no one ever asks me to draw their picture; they just spread false rumours about my talent behind my back. Yeah, and then they make up stories about my sex life and tell them to schoolchildren.
Star Copyright Offenders
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Transgressor
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Works Violated
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Area
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Period
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AC/DC
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Easy
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music
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2007
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Bieber, Justin
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Hit song about 'being a man' (my original recording lost)
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music
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2007
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Blue Rodeo
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It Makes Me Wonder, Small Miracles (my original recording lost), Mischief, Redemption, Slings and Arrows, Close Rendezvous, 'The Creed' and other poems.
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music, poetry
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2007
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Bush, George W.
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Essay on U.S. Cultural Influence, other mini-essays from March-April 2004
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opinion
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2004
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Beyonce
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Under My Umbrella
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music
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2008-14
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CNN program
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Privileged Information (The Green Bay Hacker)
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humor
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2007
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Carlin, George
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See George Carlin's Plagiarism
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personal prose
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2006-08
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Cohen, Leonard
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Buck Henry
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poetry
|
2007-14
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Colbert Report, the
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Clash of the Puritans, War in the Antarctic, other works
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humor
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2007-11
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Coldplay
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Fool, Canopy, Slings and Arrows
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music
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2007-10
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Comedy Central Talk Shows
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Disembodied cartoon frames and talk show segments, other works
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humor
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2007
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Crystalids, the
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All My Money,
Arise,
Assault,
Bonkers,
Busybody,
Careful,
Chair,
Cheer?,
Comfort?,
Control?,
Crybaby,
Doors of Love,
Easy,
Ectomorph,
Fantasies,
Foothead?,
Forgiveness,
Free,
Frenetic,
Godspeed,
Harmony,
Ho Ho and Ho,
Loose?,
Lucky Lech?,
Mambo Fever,
Mistaken?,
More Sold Out,
Morning Shorelines,
Natural,
Nonplussed?,
Outside,
Prone,
Rusty,
Satellite Sam,
Sense,
Selfish,
Size,
Smile,
Soliloquay,
Spoils,
Telepathy,
Therapy,
Thrown Stones,
Tunnel Vision,
Ugly,
Uneven,
Untoward,
Widen?,
other works
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music
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2007-10
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Daily Show, the
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Johnny Levelhead, the Lunar Dimension, FOX News Hates (videos stolen), Straight from the Belt, Ancient American History, Aunt Sally Doesn't Want You, Rules for Snuggling, other works
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humor
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2007-11
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Dateline NBC
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Accidentaly Blown, the Porcupine Girls, other works
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humor, poetry, music
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2007-13
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Degeneres, Ellen
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See Ellen
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humor, poetry
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2007-14
|
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Eastwood, Clint
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Killer Ending
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humor
|
2007
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Ellen
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Sappho Asparagus, The Widower, the Holy Roller, Mid-Life Crisis (from 2007's hospital visit), Talking Nonchalant (2007's YouTube video), The Civil States?, The Bahn to Buchenwald, Fitness Craze, Girl Logic?, other works
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humor, poetry
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2007-14
|
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'Eye Guy', the (and brother?)
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Don't know their worthless names: see Saturday Night Live
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humor, poetry
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2007-18
|
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Family Guy
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War Story: Robot Robot Monster, War Story: Holy War, Insufferable Confession, Michaelangelo's Slip (currently offline), other works
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humor
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2007-13
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Fey, Tina
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See Saturday Night Live
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humor, poetry
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2004-13
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Frum, David
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Republican speeches made from my words
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opinion
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2004
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Georgia Straight, the
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Who Ripped Me Off, Quiz Time, other works
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humor
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1996
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Groening, Matt
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See the Simpsons
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humor
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2007-13
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Hanks Tom
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The Veteran
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poetry
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2007-13
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Kimmel, Jimmy
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Fred's Friendly Frauleins, the X-Ray Player, Get the Waistcoat, Mother Mayhem (video), other works
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humor
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2007-13
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Late Night with Conan O'Brien
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Portions of the Don't Steal Show, JFK conspiracy sketch, other works
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humor
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2007-13
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|
Leno, Jay
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See the Tonight Show
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humor, poetry, music
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2007-13
|
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MacDonnel-Douglas
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Bird of Prey
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music
|
2007-2010
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MacFarlane, Seth
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See Family Guy
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humor
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2007-13
|
|
MAD Magazine
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Austin Powers I.M.M., other cartoons in apparent support of Mike Myers Austin Powers fraud
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humor
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2007-16
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MAD TV
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Hip Moves, School of Deforming Arts, Tuesday Night Long, the Job, other works perhaps confused by me as SNL crimes, still other works
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humor
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2007-13
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Madonna
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Complicit with bad stars during 2008 Vancouver visit
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music
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2008
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Maher, Bill
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See Real Time
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humor
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2007-15
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Miller, Dennis
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Epilogue: Sneak Peek at My Unpublished Book
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original theory
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2007
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Myers, Mike
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Redemption (music), Orcastra (music), Seal of Doom, Austin Powers, see Saturday Night Live for others
|
humor, poetry, music
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2004-13
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Nickleback
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Fool's Paradise, Just Like You (My reject), Nonchalant?
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music
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2007-14
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Oasis
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Fortune
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music
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2001-10
|
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O'Donnell, Rosie
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Narrative portions of war documentary, 'Shock and Awe'
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intellectual property
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2007-2018
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O'Brien, Conan
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See Late Night with
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humor
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2007-13
|
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Pohler, Amy
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See Saturday Night Live
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humor, poetry
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2007-13
|
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Real Time
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'sometimes wearing khaki', political and religious statements
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personal prose
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2007-15
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Rolling Stones, the
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Nothing but Ashes
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music
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2007-13
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Saturday Night Live
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(Sketches:)
Bait Bikes,
Bronson Harley: Portrait of a Badass,
Cosmic Christ, the,
Don't Destroy the Kitchen,
Idiot Stu-dent, the,
One Thin Grocer,
Shorn Testimony,
Thelma Addison's Confusion,
The Masked Coward,
Tyranny,
The Hennessy,
The Planet of the Grapes,
The Whoopin of Chet Turtleback,
The Racoon,
The Burning Sun,
Silent Night on the Western Front,
Patterns of Behaviour (Jane Know-it-all),
Chester Windmill Presents,
Economics Made Simple,
The Search for Blue November,
Ears Wide Open,
Bullscent Artificial Air Freshener,
Minstrel At Arms,
Blindsighted Justice,
The Flying Peacocks,
'The Rake' Oral Apparatus,
Orangatang Flavour Crystals,
The Girls of Nightcast,
Nightcast: September 22, 2012,
Pussy Willow,
Nightcast: September 15, 2012,
War Story: All's Fair in Love and War,
Nightcast: September 8, 2012,
It's Unibrow!,
It's Unibrow! (Episode Four: Blast in Space),
It's Unibrow! (Again),
Match Against Machine,
The Lost Fight,
Ahead of Their Time: Louis Bombardier,
Classic Flicks: Portrait of the Scientist...,
History's Mysteries: Nadia Stalin,
Meddlin' Mom,
Nurse Sheridan,
Classic Flicks: My Fair Hillbilly,
Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee,
Mystery Movie: Turtleneck: The Vanishing Casino,
Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer,
'The Fishbowl' Smoker's Helmet,
'Whiff' Insect Repellant for Men,
The Lazar Razor,
'The Shot' Wall Syringe,
Metaphysical Fitness,
Vote for Willie,
'Void' Depressurizing Gum[?],
Bigger than the Host,
Jesus of Vancouver/Canadian Film Festival,
Professional Wisecracker,
Stark Raving Mad TV,
Running on Air,
Not Without My Money,
The Dealer (The Collector),
Man of His Dreams,
The Sling,
End Quote,
Episode 1/D.S. Show Pilot Sketch - Windox,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 1 - Securiguard Home Security,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 1 - Dynamo 5000 Air Gun,
Episode 5/D.S. Show 1 - Pottypants,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 1 - Soundproof Suicide Prevention,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 1 - Max-Mix Protein Powder,
Episode 8/D.S. Show 1 - Spellbound Spell Checker,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 1 - Gas-in-a-Stick Man Repellant,
Episode 10/D.S. Show 1 - Immobiline Paralyzing Cream,
Episode 11/D.S. Show 1 - Pro-Rate Reputation Salvation,
Episode 12/D.S. Show 1 - Angel of Stealth Kite,
Episode 13/D.S. Show 1 - Zit Zapper,
Episode 14/D.S. Show 1 - Equine Velvet Aftershave,
Episode 15/D.S. Show 1 - Work-Mate Brand Replicants,
Episode 16/D.S. Show 1 - Jizz Jar,
Episode 17/D.S. Show 1 - Breathe Easy,
Episode 18/D.S. Show 1 - Cart-in-a-Car,
Episode 19/D.S. Show 1 - The Rocket Self-Playing Guitar,
Episode 20/D.S. Show 1 - A-WEL Artists Weight Loss Plan[?],
Episode 21/D.S. Show 1 - Slobber Guard,
Siren Siren,
Atomic Self-Heating Soup,
Episode 22/D.S. Show 1 - Econoflush Food Recycler,
Episode 23/D.S. Show 1 - Vengisil Irritating Powder,
Episode 24/D.S. Show 1 - Primetime Polly,
Episode 25/D.S. Show 1 - The Mask,
Episode 26/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave - Suicide,
Episode 27/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 2 - Protest,
Episode 28/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 3 - Bad Venues,
Episode 29/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 4 - Divine Punishment,
Episode 30/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 5 - Pizza,
Episode 2/D.S. Show 2 - Bloodfist Interactive Video Game,
Episode 3/D.S. Show 2 - The Church of the Branch Sectarians,
Episode 4/D.S. Show 2 - Do-It-Yourself Lawyer[?],
Episode 5/D.S. Show 2 - The Hot Seat,
Episode 6/D.S. Show 2 - Yum Yum Sugar Sauce,
Episode 7/D.S. Show 2 - Tasty Pastry,
Episode 9/D.S. Show 2 - Shortcut Guide to Success,
Love or Money,
Top Stories 1,
Campfire Rock,
The Straight-Blanket,
Top Stories 2,
The Insomniac,
Gold Rush 2013,
Top Story,
The Driver,
The Dating Game,
The Greed Game,
Top Stories 4,
The Blame Game,
Update: War in the Bermuda Triangle,
Top Stories 5,
The Bermuda Triangle War,
Treachery!,
Concentration 'X',
Nightcast: March 18, 2013,
North American Rebel: Behind the Scenes,
The Assistant,
Nightcast: Top Stories (09-03-13),
The Job Lovers Club,
The Cutting Room,
Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets,
The Vanity Mirrors,
Dead Reckoning,
Enemy Agent,
Celebrity Roundup,
Top Stories 6,
Top Stories 7,
The Red Menace,
The Monarch,
Flames of Compassion,
The Space Suit,
Life Shavers,
Around the Corner (Public Service Ad),
Don't Break the Kitchen,
The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution,
The Multi-Gadge,
Family Feudalism,
Henderson Mayfield: Hoot Snatcher,
Film School Preppie,
The Local Banter,
The Police Police,
Gentrification,
A Day in the Afterlife,
Jamie Jong: Outlaw Landlord,
Movie of the Week: Clarra Claptrap,
The Life of Martin, Word Inventor,
Loving Blindness,
Extreme Irony,
The Defector,
Safer Sex with Polly Foolscap,
Head Case Files/Jerome Adirondack,
Head Case Files/Little Brenda,
Head Case Files/Stephen's Snow, Stupid Snow,
Palumbo[?],
Thelma Addison's Confusion/More Stoned,
Balogne Bulletin/Aug 2,
Schoolyard Scope[?],
Slowpoke,
The Thousand Dollar Man,
Le Miscreant,
The Downsizer,
Balogne Bulletin/Sep 30,
High School Sacramental,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 14,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 21,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 25,
Smile-Rite Face Mold,
Balogne Bulletin/Nov 28,
Wilde on Absinthe,
Bum Steer[?],
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 5,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 12,
The Poisoning of Sir Guy Lombardy,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 19,
Balogne Bulletin/Dec 30,
Balogne Bulletin/Jan 09/16,
Lord of the Fruit Flies,
Pretty Boy,
the Code Breakers of Stanley Park,
Slander!,
the Pathogena Hair Defense System,
Camp Jesus,
Madame Pompadu,
other works
(Poems:)
Charlotte Harlequin,
Entropy's Date,
False Prophet, the,
First Unholy Roman Emperor, the,
Iniquia,
Marnie Blarneystone,
Mistress Nemesis,
Puritan, the,
Queen Frig,
Redeemer, the,
Restless One, the,
Rosemary Jones,
The Vindictive,
The Octiverse,
other works
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2004-13
|
|
Seal
|
Bad News, Beguiled
|
music
|
2007-15
|
|
Shards, the
|
Virtue, Lifeless
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Simpsons, the
|
Its the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse,
Cold Blooded Marriage, Lady in Waiting, The Herald (Part V - the Abbey), the Pay Toilet, Ghost in Space? - or was that Family Guy's theft?, Superficialman, plus offline works: 'Alaska Nebraska', and other works
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Stewart, Jon
|
See the Daily Show
|
humor
|
2007-13
|
|
Swift, Taylor
|
Spellbound, Careful, Respect, Dignity
|
music
|
2007-13
|
|
Telus Corporation
|
Friend in Need
|
music
|
2008-2010
|
|
Tonight Show, the
|
(Statements and Sketches:)
The Roachademy, the D.S. Show theme song, Sketched in Stone, Hazbrollah Is Love, Flying Legends, Dear Harry, Freaky Possibilities, Virtue (Shards fraudcast of my song), Groundbreakers of Aviation, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 8, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 15, D.S. Show 2: Ep. 3, Cave Art Epilogue, Tyke Force, Ancient Wisdom: Technology, All the Best Drivers, Domestic Life (currently offline), Lost Opportunity, Flimsy Barriers, Test of Patients, Money Talks, many other works
(Poems:)
Jackie the Pro, the Trail Blazer
|
humor, poetry, music
|
2007-2013
|
|
Vancouver Sun, the
|
Front page 'Sunshine Corner'
|
personal prose
|
2007
|
|
Yoakum, Dwight
|
Together Again
|
music
|
2007
|
|
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