Saturday, May 11, 2019

Instant Recovery

Instant Recovery


So, another Saturday. Another Saturday of another week of me rewriting songs and blogs that were loved in the hands of frauds. And how are the bold troop of players tonight? Are you impressed that they survived? Why? Wouldn't multiple assailants get over their assault faster than their single victim? Do they make you cheer for that? And what lie do they spread about me to stay in business? Do they say that the stars all ripped each other off and sent each other to jail? That's what Groening and MacFarlane said about their fraud with my work. Does it make sense? Look at how these rock stars had my songs all the way up to when I rewrote them. Wouldn't Oasis know that Nickleback ripped me off? Wouldn't the Rolling Stones know that Seal ripped me off? But stars don't send each other to jail. Their big boss would lose money if that happened, and they're probably even contractually prohibited from it.

I'm just going to remind you of what Saturday Night Live had planned for me. First they wanted the Crystalids to throw me in jail in 2010 after I rewrote Size. The Crystalids couldn't throw me in jail for writing my own song, and that's when all the Dave love started up, lasting for the next three years, all the way to the incarceration of an NBC TV host in 2013. They wanted me to sign my contract at a time when they had the lion's share of my comedy. They wanted to invite me to be the musical guest to play a mediocre song on a Saturday Night Live broadcast entirely comprised of my own sketches and poetry - the kind of show that would have had their audience thinking they were more talented than I am. I would have had nothing but old songs in my brain and, to honour my contract, would have had to spend all my time writing and writing to create a new one. I wouldn't have had any time to party or enjoy my fame. And I probably wouldn't have even been able to produce enough good new songs for half an album after breaking my back the whole time. My comedy and poetry and music would have stayed on TV as fraud. People would have been telling me, 'you're almost as good as Nickleback.' And I probably would have killed myself again.

Interesting to see how they all present themselves at once now, instead of announcing the long list of the cast while the saxophone player goes blue in the face, like I wrote in 2007's parody Tuesday Night Long, which was stolen by MAD TV. I retaliated in 2007 with another parody of MAD TV, Stark Raving MAD TV, but that got stolen by Saturday Night Live.

I've used red font below to show you the old songs I've been rewriting since around December last year. With the two unfinished ones at home, I make it about ten in total so far. That's another half an hour of my music that was playing on the radio, with stars keeping mum about it, through my whole ordeal up to now. As I was saying in an earlier post this year, I saw some of them on Indy Night in 2008 on MuchMoreMusic, maybe before the frauds got signed to music labels. I thought, how did these indy bands all get sounding so good all of a sudden? Usually indy bands are indy because their music isn't yet good enough, or popular enough, for a music label. In my case, I'm an indy musician because of my politics and my comedy writing. This means that I might even write better music than some of the bands with the label.

I've added my latest music video to talk about it a little more. Firstly, I guess the visuals are a little disappointing, but the song is good. Once I recalled previously sharing it, I just didn't feel like taking the trouble to record myself playing it. I'm looking forward to being able to post my music somewhere with no video, so people can just buy the music. If music sounds good, it sells itself. And when I speak of the grace of the queenly choir, I'm referring to what Sid Caesar called the celestial choir on his Dateline interview in November 2007: the voices of fame. These were the same voices that had me running to psychiatrists after no one would tell me how big I was for eight months. If I'd have seen that Dateline broadcast at any earlier point in the year, I'd have known I wasn't crazy; but that broadcast in 2007 was to help all the new fraud stars on the web with my songs and blogs to know that they weren't crazy. And my YouTube and Blogger accounts had both been erased by me the day before, thinking I was crazy. Right? Thanks. There's no need to erase my fame now. It happened, and the only people who got hurt by it had it coming.

The last thought on my mind today concerns motives. Whatever excuses these stars have been handing you for their behavior is likely a lie designed to appeal to your own values as an honest worker, but we often have different motives for our actions than they. The business wants money. The stars want money and your love for my work. That's why they stole all my work. It made them a pile of money for them in the last twelve years, but I still live in a rooming house. Show business is an exceptionally cold business because it puts a dollar value on our hopes and dreams, but it spends all its broadcast time pretending to be your best friend that you can trust.

Accidentally Blown
Affinity
Aggression-Depression
All My Money
Apostrophe Unneeded
Arise
Black Hole
Assault
Asylum
Babydoll
Bad News
Beguiled
Bird of Prey
Blazon
Bonkers
Brown Lullaby
Business
Busybody
Candy Hearts
Canopy
Careful
Casual
Chair
Cheer
Class
Close Rendezvous
Clouds
Comfort
Conflict
Conscience
Contented
Control
Conviction
Crybaby
Currents
Daylight Dilemma
Decent
Delightful
Denial
Dignity
Disenchanted
Doors of Love
Dun
Easy
Ectomorph
Empty
Energy
Epitomes
Everything
Fantasies
Faraway Places
Figments
Fishface
Flimsy
Flounder
Fool
Fool's Paradise, This
Foothead
Forgiveness
Forgotten
Fortune
Free
Frenetic
Friday's Child
Friend in Need
Fun
Goddess
Godspeed
Gr. Moose
Gran
Grumble
Hairball
Harmony
Headlong
Heartstrings
Heretic
Homage
Homeless
Hot
Hunted
I'll Wait for Your Love
Impressions
Incubus
Insidious
Innocent
It Makes Me Wonder
It's Not You
Juice
Justice
Laura-Li
Leg It Up
Lifeless
Linger
Loose
Lucky Lech
Magic
Make-believe World
Mambo Fever
Mayhem
Meanest Joke, the
Meantime
Meat Hooks
Mischief
Mistaken
Mixed Feelings
More Sold Out
Morning Shorelines
Motion Cautionary
Musician
My Philosophy
Natural
Nonchalant
Next Best Thing
Nonplussed
Nothing but Ashes
Oblivious
Ooga Balooga
Orbit
Orcastra
Out from Under
Outside
Passion
Past the Limit
Pathetic
Penitence
Plow
Practice
Preteen Queen
Promise
Prone
Puzzles
Ram
Ransom
Redemption
Redundant
Respect
Rugged
Rules
Rusty
Sad Anger
Sanctuary
Satellite Sam
Sense
Selfish
Sentimental
Shabby
Shambles
Simper
Simple
Size
Slings and Arrows
Smile
Soliloquay
Space 2009
Special
Spellbound
Spoils
Stagger
Stress
Stultified
Suicide
Sunny Skies
Survival
Targets
Telepathy
Temperance
Tenseness
Therapy
Thrown Stones
Tinsel Heaven
Together
Together Again
Topsy-turvy
Tricks
Tumble
Tunnel Vision
Tycoon
Ugly
Unabused
Underachiever
Uneven
Untoward
Vanquished
Virtue
Visions
Wallet
Wayfarer, the
What Do You Do All Day?
Whiner
Whore
Widen
Wild
© 2019. Songs by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.


Star Copyright Offenders

Transgressor Works Violated Area Period
AC/DC Easy music 2007
Bieber, Justin Hit song about 'being a man' (my original recording lost) music 2007
Blue Rodeo Close Rendezvous, It Makes Me Wonder, Small Miracles (my original recording lost), Mischief, Redemption, Slings and Arrows, Close Rendezvous, 'The Creed' and other poems. music, poetry 2007
Bush, George W. Essay on U.S. Cultural Influence, other mini-essays from March-April 2004 opinion 2004
Beyonce Under My Umbrella music 2008-14
CNN program Privileged Information (The Green Bay Hacker) humor 2007
Carlin, George See George Carlin's Plagiarism personal prose 2006-08
Cohen, Leonard Buck Henry poetry 2007-14
Colbert Report, the Clash of the Puritans, War in the Antarctic, other works humor 2007-11
Coldplay Fool, Canopy, Slings and Arrows music 2007-10
Comedy Central Talk Shows Disembodied cartoon frames and talk show segments, other works humor 2007
Crystalids, the All My Money, Arise, Assault, Bonkers, Busybody, Careful, Chair, Cheer?, Comfort?, Control?, Crybaby, Doors of Love, Easy, Ectomorph, Fantasies, Foothead?, Forgiveness, Free, Frenetic, Godspeed, Harmony, Ho Ho and Ho, Loose?, Lucky Lech?, Mambo Fever, Mistaken?, More Sold Out, Morning Shorelines, Natural, Nonplussed?, Outside, Prone, Rusty, Satellite Sam, Sense, Selfish, Size, Smile, Soliloquay, Spoils, Telepathy, Therapy, Thrown Stones, Tunnel Vision, Ugly, Uneven, Untoward, Widen?, other works music 2007-10
Daily Show, the Johnny Levelhead, the Lunar Dimension, FOX News Hates (videos stolen), Straight from the Belt, Ancient American History, Aunt Sally Doesn't Want You, Rules for Snuggling, other works humor 2007-11
Dateline NBC Accidentaly Blown, the Porcupine Girls, other works humor, poetry, music 2007-13
Degeneres, Ellen See Ellen humor, poetry 2007-14
Eastwood, Clint Killer Ending humor 2007
Ellen Sappho Asparagus, The Widower, the Holy Roller, Mid-Life Crisis (from 2007's hospital visit), Talking Nonchalant (2007's YouTube video), The Civil States?, The Bahn to Buchenwald, Fitness Craze, Girl Logic?, other works humor, poetry 2007-14
'Eye Guy', the (and brother?) Don't know their worthless names: see Saturday Night Live humor, poetry 2007-18
Family Guy War Story: Robot Robot Monster, War Story: Holy War, Insufferable Confession, Michaelangelo's Slip (currently offline), other works humor 2007-13
Fey, Tina See Saturday Night Live humor, poetry 2004-13
Frum, David Republican speeches made from my words opinion 2004
Georgia Straight, the Who Ripped Me Off, Quiz Time, other works humor 1996
Groening, Matt See the Simpsons humor 2007-13
Hanks Tom The Veteran poetry 2007-13
Kimmel, Jimmy Fred's Friendly Frauleins, the X-Ray Player, Get the Waistcoat, Mother Mayhem (video), other works humor 2007-13
Late Night with Conan O'Brien Portions of the Don't Steal Show, JFK conspiracy sketch, other works humor 2007-13
Leno, Jay See the Tonight Show humor, poetry, music 2007-13
MacDonnel-Douglas Bird of Prey music 2007-2010
MacFarlane, Seth See Family Guy humor 2007-13
MAD Magazine Austin Powers I.M.M., other cartoons in apparent support of Mike Myers Austin Powers fraud humor 2007-16
MAD TV Hip Moves, School of Deforming Arts, Tuesday Night Long, the Job, other works perhaps confused by me as SNL crimes, still other works humor 2007-13
Madonna Complicit with bad stars during 2008 Vancouver visit music 2008
Maher, Bill See Real Time humor 2007-15
Miller, Dennis Epilogue: Sneak Peek at My Unpublished Book original theory 2007
Myers, Mike Redemption (music), Orcastra (music), Seal of Doom, Austin Powers, see Saturday Night Live for others humor, poetry, music 2004-13
Nickleback Fool's Paradise, Just Like You (My reject), Nonchalant? music 2007-14
Oasis Fortune music 2001-10
O'Donnell, Rosie Narrative portions of war documentary, 'Shock and Awe' intellectual property 2007-2018
O'Brien, Conan See Late Night with humor 2007-13
Pohler, Amy See Saturday Night Live humor, poetry 2007-13
Real Time 'sometimes wearing khaki', political and religious statements personal prose 2007-15
Rolling Stones, the Nothing but Ashes, Daylight Dilemma music 2007-13
Saturday Night Live (Sketches:)
Bait Bikes, Bronson Harley: Portrait of a Badass, Cosmic Christ, the, Don't Destroy the Kitchen, Idiot Stu-dent, the, One Thin Grocer, Shorn Testimony, Thelma Addison's Confusion, The Masked Coward, Tyranny, The Hennessy, The Planet of the Grapes, The Whoopin of Chet Turtleback, The Racoon, The Burning Sun, Silent Night on the Western Front, Patterns of Behaviour (Jane Know-it-all), Chester Windmill Presents, Economics Made Simple, The Search for Blue November, Ears Wide Open, Bullscent Artificial Air Freshener, Minstrel At Arms, Blindsighted Justice, The Flying Peacocks, 'The Rake' Oral Apparatus, Orangatang Flavour Crystals, The Girls of Nightcast, Nightcast: September 22, 2012, Pussy Willow, Nightcast: September 15, 2012, War Story: All's Fair in Love and War, Nightcast: September 8, 2012, It's Unibrow!, It's Unibrow! (Episode Four: Blast in Space), It's Unibrow! (Again), Match Against Machine, The Lost Fight, Ahead of Their Time: Louis Bombardier, Classic Flicks: Portrait of the Scientist..., History's Mysteries: Nadia Stalin, Meddlin' Mom, Nurse Sheridan, Classic Flicks: My Fair Hillbilly, Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee, Mystery Movie: Turtleneck: The Vanishing Casino, Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer, 'The Fishbowl' Smoker's Helmet, 'Whiff' Insect Repellant for Men, The Lazar Razor, 'The Shot' Wall Syringe, Metaphysical Fitness, Vote for Willie, 'Void' Depressurizing Gum[?], Bigger than the Host, Jesus of Vancouver/Canadian Film Festival, Professional Wisecracker, Stark Raving Mad TV, Running on Air, Not Without My Money, The Dealer (The Collector), Man of His Dreams, The Sling, End Quote, Episode 1/D.S. Show Pilot Sketch - Windox, Episode 3/D.S. Show 1 - Securiguard Home Security, Episode 4/D.S. Show 1 - Dynamo 5000 Air Gun, Episode 5/D.S. Show 1 - Pottypants, Episode 6/D.S. Show 1 - Soundproof Suicide Prevention, Episode 7/D.S. Show 1 - Max-Mix Protein Powder, Episode 8/D.S. Show 1 - Spellbound Spell Checker, Episode 9/D.S. Show 1 - Gas-in-a-Stick Man Repellant, Episode 10/D.S. Show 1 - Immobiline Paralyzing Cream, Episode 11/D.S. Show 1 - Pro-Rate Reputation Salvation, Episode 12/D.S. Show 1 - Angel of Stealth Kite, Episode 13/D.S. Show 1 - Zit Zapper, Episode 14/D.S. Show 1 - Equine Velvet Aftershave, Episode 15/D.S. Show 1 - Work-Mate Brand Replicants, Episode 16/D.S. Show 1 - Jizz Jar, Episode 17/D.S. Show 1 - Breathe Easy, Episode 18/D.S. Show 1 - Cart-in-a-Car, Episode 19/D.S. Show 1 - The Rocket Self-Playing Guitar, Episode 20/D.S. Show 1 - A-WEL Artists Weight Loss Plan[?], Episode 21/D.S. Show 1 - Slobber Guard, Siren Siren, Atomic Self-Heating Soup, Episode 22/D.S. Show 1 - Econoflush Food Recycler, Episode 23/D.S. Show 1 - Vengisil Irritating Powder, Episode 24/D.S. Show 1 - Primetime Polly, Episode 25/D.S. Show 1 - The Mask, Episode 26/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave - Suicide, Episode 27/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 2 - Protest, Episode 28/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 3 - Bad Venues, Episode 29/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 4 - Divine Punishment, Episode 30/D.S. Show 1 - Save Dave 5 - Pizza, Episode 2/D.S. Show 2 - Bloodfist Interactive Video Game, Episode 3/D.S. Show 2 - The Church of the Branch Sectarians, Episode 4/D.S. Show 2 - Do-It-Yourself Lawyer[?], Episode 5/D.S. Show 2 - The Hot Seat, Episode 6/D.S. Show 2 - Yum Yum Sugar Sauce, Episode 7/D.S. Show 2 - Tasty Pastry, Episode 9/D.S. Show 2 - Shortcut Guide to Success, Love or Money, Top Stories 1, Campfire Rock, The Straight-Blanket, Top Stories 2, The Insomniac, Gold Rush 2013, Top Story, The Driver, The Dating Game, The Greed Game, Top Stories 4, The Blame Game, Update: War in the Bermuda Triangle, Top Stories 5, The Bermuda Triangle War, Treachery!, Concentration 'X', Nightcast: March 18, 2013, North American Rebel: Behind the Scenes, The Assistant, Nightcast: Top Stories (09-03-13), The Job Lovers Club, The Cutting Room, Pestilence Anti-Pest Pellets, The Vanity Mirrors, Dead Reckoning, Enemy Agent, Celebrity Roundup, Top Stories 6, Top Stories 7, The Red Menace, The Monarch, Flames of Compassion, The Space Suit, Life Shavers, Around the Corner (Public Service Ad), Don't Break the Kitchen, The Convex Corrective Silkscreen Solution, The Multi-Gadge, Family Feudalism, Henderson Mayfield: Hoot Snatcher, Film School Preppie, The Local Banter, The Police Police, Gentrification, A Day in the Afterlife, Jamie Jong: Outlaw Landlord, Movie of the Week: Clarra Claptrap, The Life of Martin, Word Inventor, Loving Blindness, Extreme Irony, The Defector, Safer Sex with Polly Foolscap, Head Case Files/Jerome Adirondack, Head Case Files/Little Brenda, Head Case Files/Stephen's Snow, Stupid Snow, Palumbo[?], Thelma Addison's Confusion/More Stoned, Balogne Bulletin/Aug 2, Schoolyard Scope[?], Slowpoke, The Thousand Dollar Man, Le Miscreant, The Downsizer, Balogne Bulletin/Sep 30, High School Sacramental, Balogne Bulletin/Nov 14, Balogne Bulletin/Nov 21, Balogne Bulletin/Nov 25, Smile-Rite Face Mold, Balogne Bulletin/Nov 28, Wilde on Absinthe, Bum Steer[?], Balogne Bulletin/Dec 5, Balogne Bulletin/Dec 12, The Poisoning of Sir Guy Lombardy, Balogne Bulletin/Dec 19, Balogne Bulletin/Dec 30, Balogne Bulletin/Jan 09/16, Lord of the Fruit Flies, Pretty Boy, the Code Breakers of Stanley Park, Slander!, the Pathogena Hair Defense System, Camp Jesus, Madame Pompadu, other works (Poems:)
Charlotte Harlequin, Entropy's Date, False Prophet, the, First Unholy Roman Emperor, the, Iniquia, Marnie Blarneystone, Mistress Nemesis, Puritan, the, Queen Frig, Redeemer, the, Restless One, the, Rosemary Jones, The Vindictive, The Octiverse, other works
humor, poetry, music 2004-13
Seal Bad News, Beguiled music 2007-15
Shards, the Virtue, Lifeless music 2007-13
Simpsons, the Its the Grand Pumpkin, Milhouse, Cold Blooded Marriage, Lady in Waiting, The Herald (Part V - the Abbey), the Pay Toilet, Ghost in Space? - or was that Family Guy's theft?, Superficialman, plus offline works: 'Alaska Nebraska', and other works humor 2007-13
Stewart, Jon See the Daily Show humor 2007-13
Swift, Taylor Ooga Balooga, Spellbound, Careful, Respect, Dignity music 2007-13
Telus Corporation Friend in Need music 2008-2010
Tonight Show, the (Statements and Sketches:)
The Roachademy, the D.S. Show theme song, Sketched in Stone, Hazbrollah Is Love, Flying Legends, Dear Harry, Freaky Possibilities, Virtue (Shards fraudcast of my song), Groundbreakers of Aviation, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 8, D.S. Show 1: Ep. 15, D.S. Show 2: Ep. 3, Cave Art Epilogue, Tyke Force, Ancient Wisdom: Technology, All the Best Drivers, Domestic Life (currently offline), Lost Opportunity, Flimsy Barriers, Test of Patients, Money Talks, many other works
(Poems:)
Jackie the Pro, the Trail Blazer
humor, poetry, music 2007-2013
Vancouver Sun, the Front page 'Sunshine Corner' personal prose 2007
Yoakum, Dwight Together Again music 2007
  
More Statements Scripts Songs
© 2019. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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